Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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