i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Randomize
