Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
