Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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