can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
