no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
