Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
