Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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