Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
