how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
