I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Randomize
