i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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