The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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