Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
