no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
