Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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