I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
