im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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