just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You can't just leave with hair like that
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
