do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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