I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
