Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
