Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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