a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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