i was rollin on her like bob the builder
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
