Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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