real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
