you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
