watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
