I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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