Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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