so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
