So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
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