Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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