Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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