its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
