So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
