So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
