Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
