Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
