My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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