He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize
