Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
