My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
