where am i from again
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
