i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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