its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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