I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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