Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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