Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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