Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Randomize
