So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
