ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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