My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I CAN MOONWALK!
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
if only i could text you this smell
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
