I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
